I have this weird ability to convince myself that bad things that actually did happen, didnt. I can tell myself “Hes lying just to make me mad.” and I wont believe them.. Is that weird?

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Rant: read at your own cost…

I swear if I saw the girl, with the amount of adrenaline that was going through my body at the time… I know i’m small (5 feet tall 120lbs) but in that 30 mins my veins were popping out and I looked like a mini Hulk Hogan… I honestly would have killed a bitch… I have no self control when it comes to fighting, I turn into a ruthless, animal, hood bitch.. This is how it would have happened… She would be facing me.. I would grab both sides of her head/behind her neck and brought her head down and my knee up to her face, and then I would have put her into a headlock and I would have choked her out until she passed out/died. I have anger issues.. Especially bitches who fuck with me. Ugh.. I know i’m probably going to lose followers for this, but thats shallow if I do, because tumblr is a place where people rant when they have problems, and I dont think people should judge and hate me for it.. 

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It’s 1 AM where I am… Wtf am I still doing up?

…oh yeah.. I’m being a fat ass and I’m watching teen wolf on demand eating ice cream sandwiches cuddling with my “boy” pillow because I don’t have a boy to actually cuddle with….

Anyone want to join my party? -_- haha

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The truth is, I’m not mad at you. I just hate the fact that every time your name lights up on my phone, I fall for you a little bit harder.

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Dear Sean,

You sound incredibly insecure. Regardless of if you’re trans-gendered or not, you’re not comfortable with your own identity, so you’re trying to deflect the attention and put it all on me. You’re wrong in putting me on blast like that on facebook, especially since you didn’t tell both sides of the story. You dont know what you’re talking about. Blear and I are making very valid points and all you’re doing is slinging insults and using words you dont entirely understand saying im being “oppressive” claiming that gender identity and sexual orientation arent related, so on and so forth. Theres something in almost every one of your sentences that you clearly dont entirely understand. You’re a hypocrite by saying “die cis scum”, calling me “boujie” (really? If anything it should be “bourgie”), and making all kinds of references to me being a “privileged, hetero-sexual, bouji, oppressive, cis-gendered, piece of motherfucking shit”. You’re mad at me for not accepting you for your differences but all you’re doing is pointing out mine, and all that is doing is creating a gap between how I identify and how you identify, when what you’re screaming about is being treated equally. You’re being just as prejudiced (or what you call “oppressive”) as you thinks i’m being. I did say “die trans scum” even since you said something to me first, I am in the wrong. I did say it in retaliation for you saying “Die Cis-Scum” to me first. But I don’t think I need to apologize for it. Sean you are WAY out of line with what you’re doing and has insulted me way deeper than I insulted you. The main reason you’re doing this is insecurity. Maybe you are transgendered, but doesn’t quite understand it yet or you’re not quite ready to admit it yet. This can put people on the defense so quickly. You have to tread lightly sometimes. The only reason I think I was in the wrong is because I retaliated. I should have been the bigger person in the situation, and just turned and walked away when you said “die cis scum” the first time. All you were doing was showing a lack of acceptance for your own identity, which is the exact thing you are mad at me for doing. Next time, tread lightly, and turn and walk away. Hopefully you calm down and focus your attention elsewhere.

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Me

I try to be the girl I like to write about when I do write, since I am an aspiring author. I like to be the girl that believes in fairy tales and love at first sight, the one that can make anyone laugh, smile, and believe in themselves when times are hard. I like to be the girl who isn’t afraid of the people around her and will be as loud, outgoing and vibrant as possible. I like to be the girl that has a good time and goes with the flow of life, and tries her hardest to make the best of what she is given. There isnt anything more beautiful than hope and breath. I believe that having crushes is okay, no matter the gender because gender doesn’t define who you are, love is love. I like to be the girl that is open to changes and ideas, who is always optimistic and will stop at nothing to make sure someone is alright. I like to be the girl who can wear jeans, vans, and a plain t-shit and feel confident, yet have the ability to dress up and party. I like to be the girl that isn’t afraid to speak what she believes and stand up for herself and everyone around her. I believe that relationships make the world go ‘round, and that family, friends, and lovers need to stand together. I like to be the girl that is honest and trustworthy, the one that will keep your secrets and take them to the grave. I like to be the girl that is polite and well mannered, yet I can be a total tom-boy also. I like to be comfortable in my own skin, and I will tell you right now, I am not afraid of you and your opinions because I know who I am and where I stand. I will also tell you that I accept your opinions about me but if they are negative I will tell you right now, I don’t give two shits. 

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OMFG BITCH.

See, i’m not quite sure if i’m overly sensitive or….? But what pisses me off to no extreme is when I put on makeup, FINALLY take a decent picture after like 2 hours of trying, take 30 mins to edit it and when I post it, it gets notes… Great! Thats not why i’m mad.. I’m mad that when it gets so many notes to the point of “Who actually posted this?” and people get crazy and delete my text saying “Just my face” or whatever, and then claim that its THEIR face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. No bitch, no. Thats MY face. UUUUGH, maybe i’m getting overly worked up for no reason but that is just SOOOO irritating! Like, idgaf if people reblog it, actually that makes me happy….. what pisses me off is when they reblog it and then say that its THEIR face. Like, honey, I can see who adds stuff onto my pictures and that sure as hell aint your face considering I TOOK THE FUCKING PICTURE. And when I went to go look at her blog….. the damn girl doesnt have any real pictures of herself posted so PEOPLE WOULD INDEED THINK THAT MY FACE WAS HER FACE. OMFG. okay.. im being stupid now, but thats actually frustrating… 

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I really strongly dislike it when people won’t give others the time of day. For what, even? Do they think or believe that deep down they are so much better than everyone else that they don’t even deserve to show others grace? I sometimes can’t even believe what I see it disgusts me so bad when people just ignore others and for no good reason. It’s unfair, rude, and discouraging to see that people live in little plastic bubbles sheltered from the world. It may be just me, But if that’s the kind of world I’m going to have to live in, I don’t want to live at all. Everyone should be treated as human and not treated depending on their social class, physical appearances, or anything else materialistic. I just don’t get it.

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I get jealous too easily… *sigh*

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